Babbling around

Aaa..its been a while.Hello friends and beloved. I dont know where to start..aaa but Selamat Berpuasa, give ur best shot for ths Ramadhan and Selamat Hari Raya in advance ! :D

Ramadhan nak habis and entah hantu mana datang rasuk diri ni untuk blogwalking balik and from tht blogwalking taraaa here come the entry. Its been more thn 1 years i think and i see all ppl around me either  ex-es, kekasih gelap (laughing in the corner), comrades, or the kind-of-social-network-buddies are not the same ppl i knw before. ppl changed! Im glad to see lots lots of love coming to their life. Like all my ex-es and kekasih gelap (laughing in the corner again.haha)..we starting to be friends. Forgive and forget. They with their loves one now and 2 of them are getting married soon.Kepap kepap kepung pung. Congratulation in advance!

40% of my bestfriends or my social-network-buddies already getting married. Salina the most gangster girl in my school my bonzer bestfriend also kawin dah! God is the greatest.Full of suprise. My mum always said bercinta lepas kahwin lebih indah.I always giving a thought to ask my parents to choose my future husband.Like let it be a mystery to me but then ..on a 2nd thought.Hell no!Sedangkan yang kita kenal bertahun pun kelaut inikan nak bermisteri.Pelakon di pentas dunia ni makin banyak. Drama queens Drama kings. *paranoid going on and on and i decide not to think bout marriage now. Not yet. whoo scary shitt.

So like my friends yang dah lama single like for 3-4 years pun dah start to berbunga balik. Bravo! Their loves one are very cool. Sharing the same hobbies, the same interest, same music with ur loves one..tell me who can say no to ths kind of love.

My love story? idk what to say but Alhamdulillah.Theres must be reason when the god make us falling in love with someone and why god want u to met tht person by tht time and time and why there's a pause and stop button to ur relationship.Him?Is the greatest love i ever had. Dari nothing u built me up to something. Ive learn so much of hard way and how to be strong like you.Thank you for letting me share the love frm ur kind family. Thnk you for letting me be the princess in ur family.How could i ever forget ths kind of love. No matter how hurt we are, how confused we are or how idiot we are living in ths unknown situation of relationship now.I just wanna say thnk you for everything.


and for you ikan rasta..living in ths unknown situation and u want me to dance slowly with you.Yes im dancing slowly love..i want to see how you dance with love.Wrong step.Kena rotan!

Nak cakap pasal relationship - or my kind of relationship mmg 1 buku pun takkan habis.So just celebrate love guys. Dont hate it - if its not mean to be for you.Remember there's must be a reason why god want you to meet em to make love with em to share some stories and memories with em.Why end up with hating each other when at the 1st place tht is the person you wish to see every morning? Learn to understand.Learn to teach your heart to love and love again.

For me? Either i make it or not with my love life.. - I just wanna be remembered as a girl who listened,loved and have a kind heart.

Can you?

my artwork '12.Take a look more at http://artviolences.tumblr.com

Shoo away

Kesian kau blog berhabuk-habuk dh.Lama tk update sbb terlampau busy.Over busy sampai tkda masa untuk diri sendiri.Busy dgn cari kerja partime yang tk dopek dopek.Alah tkpela bulan 3 ni aku nk berambus balik pegi Shah Alam tu dah.Busy dengan kawan yang gila-gila and busy dengan art-art saya. Alhamdulillah Artviolences makin stabil.Ada bnyk benda belum upload ada bnyk planning belum buat lagi.Komitmen mmg aku akan letak 100 peratus.This project is like my second BF. Oh ya dan aku pn dh kurang menulis.I dont know why.Mungkin sebab terlalu sibuk dan terlalu sakit.Life mmg fuck us all.Nobody Dies A Virgin.Remember that?Dan segala fuck stuff ni la buat kau belajar pasal hidup.Dah aku bukan nak sembang pasal fuck.Aku nak sembang pasal 2012.

Early 2012 ni Alhamdulillah semua going smooth.Life,family and love.Alhamdulillah.Lepastu early 2012 ni jgk la aku buat first exhibition dgn bdk Projek Rabak thnks Jay,Seyn bg peluang ni.Awl 2012 ni jgk aku masuk gig balik after setahun kot aku tnggl scene ni.haha.The Vanquish awesome! I just so in love with February sbb ada bnyk benda best dlm bulan February ni selain dr upcoming birthday aku. Apa lg yang special?haha kena tunggu la kan.teretetet.

Do like http://www.facebook.com/Artviolences on facebook :)

Guys feel free to take a look at this!

http://www.facebook.com/Artviolences

Haa ambik kau.Besar punya.So guys feel free to like this and if this thing are so into you pls help me to spread it out! 

and see us also in PESTA RABAK N' ROLLA: Projek Rabak Satu Tahun!

to have a sneak peek of what is Artviolences is all about!Lepak sama pn boleh.

Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies.

- Aristotle.

Guys please follow this.

Here my second blog about my freelance job. Enjoy and pls help to spread it out and find a customer for me. tee-hee:D

http://artviolences.blogspot.com/

Goodbye 2011, Hello 2012

2011 merupakan hari-hari yang paling bermakna and hari-hari yang paling palat jugak dalam hidup aku. Elok kita sembang yang palat dulu sebab lepastu dah boleh campak jauh-jauh dah. First i learn about how important is my family to me.I would die without them.Ayah yang sehabis kering mempertahankan keluarganya ibu sekoyak habis pertahankan anak-anaknya.Bila tgk air mata turun dari dua insan mulia ni, it will killing me softly.I learn a lot dari peristiwa adik jatuh sakit akibat perbuatan sihir dari ahli keluarga sendiri.

I learn tht tanpa agama tiang kita lemah.Sekali hembus mampus sekor-sekor. Masa ni baru nak pandang ustaz-ustaz baru sibuk cari Yassin.heh. I learn that dalam apa keadaan pun cuma keluarga adalah pejuang yang paling setia.Mana mungkin ayah dan ibu kita patah semangat.Kawan mungkin lari,gf/bf mungkin sudah bosan.Orang sakit hidup macam disaster, duit koyak, hidup macam orang desperate.Tuhan btl2 uji aku sekeluarga 2011 ni.

 I also learn that zaman sekarang ni kawan yang fake terlalu ramai.Peratus yang betul-betul kisah saat kau susah mmg dh serupa nak pupus.Sama kes dengan pupusnya dugung. Tak kalau dia kawan dengan kau sebab harta mungkin dia kawan dengan kau sebab kau banyak geng so boleh tumpang fofular tak pun dia kawan dengan kau sebab kau boleh bawak dia jalan-jalan atau kau ada banyak barang cool,band cool,kereta cool,jalangs2 cool,bf/gf cool or apa-apa lagi yang fucking cool.1 je yang tk cool dalam environment ni -Your friendship. Jadi apa aku belajar dari sini? Buat bodoh tk payah nak sentap-sentap nanti kau jugak  sakit hati baik banyak2 berdoa supaya hati kau cukup kuat untuk hadap benda ni dan muka korang boleh jadi lagi tebal dari topeng diorang.Dorang nak fake depan belakang kiri kanan biarlah. True friend katanya.Aku ketawa je..sampai bila cho nk pakai topeng letak mulut kt belakang?Boringg...! I also learn that orang yang paling rapat dengan kau paling baik paling pijak kuman pun tak mati depan kau ni la orang yang paling patut kau hati-hati. Pengajaran ni diambil dari peristiwa adik aku sendiri.My own aunty did it siapa boleh jangka babe? Dunia-dunia.Sanggup jadi bodoh sebab dengki.

Paling penting kita memang takkan dapat puaskan hati semua orang apa lagi nak bagi hati ni kat sesetengah orang. Lagi-lagi bila hati kau dah memang orang lain dah cop dulu. Dalam hidup ni term siapa cepat dia dapat or siapa power dia rembat mmg sgt-sgt betul. Jadi maaf sangat-sangat fyka manusia korang pun manusia. Masing-masing fahamkan. Sayang tak semestinya kena couple. Be a true friend pun boleh buat relationship tu jadi  lebih special kan. Fyka mintak maaf dekat semua orang yang fyka dah terkoyakkan atau dan terluka-kan hati korang. Mungkin kadang-kadang mulut ni lantang sangat cakap atau perangai serupa mintak penyepak.Maaf sangat-sangat.I just being me.This is me.Sorry.

Ok bila sebut pasal something good in 2011 - aku jumpa DIA. Aku tak cari pun.Masa hati tengah koyak tu tak pernah lansung pikir nak cari BF baru.Dia datang sendiri.Thnks god for giving me- HIM. Aku bersyukur aku ada Gf-gf kuat yang selalu di sisi aku time aku jatuh.Gadis-gadis hardcore saya you know who you are.Thnks a lot gegirls! Tk lupa juga untuk Boyfriend-boyfriend bonzer saya. Cukupla benda gembira 2011 fyka close kan dengan gambar-gambar yang tak seberapa jugak ni . *penat nak taip.

2012 - I’m looking forward to learn more about myself as I get older, even if I have to learn things in the hard way. I’m ready to let things go. I’m ready to change. I’m ready for the next chapter. aja aja fighting! :3

RANTAI Re-visit

Wan secret room :p

tq b for this.

lovable kids.

Harun Aziz.

My little baby :)

Seyn-sei

My new poetry notebook and Khottal woo song.huu-yeah!

Sometimes the saddest laugh the loudest

I know I should’ve moved on ages ago, been happy already, but it’s never been that easy for me. Or maybe it was me that made it so hard”- La Dispute

I’m afraid of seeing snapshots, not movies

 I’m afraid of the quick judgments or mistakes everybody makes.I'm afraid of being poor. I love my bestfriend so much but i'm too afraid to think if one day my own bestfriend will be my best enemies.How could it be? Why ppl. Wht i am surely realize now that everybody is seriously shit a selfish motherfucker.Including me.yeah and maybe you too. Life is getting suck. It’s much easier to not know things sometimes. Things change and friends leave.Life doesn’t stop for anybody. It’s okay to feel things act. I was really there. And that was enough to make me feel infinite. Real infinite.

...and sometimes, your best just isn't enough.

I wish for miracles to happen ..oh god :(

I'm lost.

Lost & go with the flow. hell-yeah.

New hair new life new spirit new hope i wish

I wish for a better future. I love him. 

 I finally cut my hair ..:'( 

Naah but not anymore.

I felt good and like I was starting a new life.  I feel like a new person now.  I am enjoying my new short hair.  As of right now I am looking up hairstyles. 

P/s: i got a bad habit.A very very bad habit. Tolong jgn bwk fyka pegi saloon. I'll gonna do somethng with my hair walaupun setakat betulkan fringe. I would never let the hairstylist duk rilek je kan...hehe .

Pekan Frinjan

Pekan Frinjan adalah event yang mempersatukan muzik, puisi, teater, fesyen, buku dll..dan untuk si gila art fest mcm aku dan si gila yang lain ni mmg ni akan masuk dlm list wajib hadir!

Dibjualkata
Free Deserters
Isma Rudean
Kerusi Sepi
Najwa Latif ( laman muka buku tu..)
Nastia
Perewa Muda

Illya Sumanto( ni classmate aku dulu!) haha.
Portgas
Society
Subculture
The Alif 

Korang yang tak satu aliran kepala dan hati dgn aku dan mereka2 ni mungkin tk faham kot apa yang seronoknya semua ni sampai aku gelejat sgt nk pegi.Tapi aku tau :)

Awesome raya!

What a blasting RAYA! Even penat melayan tetamu yang tk henti-henti dari 1st raya then attend open house dari kawan-kawan.. then "duit RAYA" pn dh tak sekencang dulu lagi(This is so sad) but Raya tahun ni ttp amazing! Selain bergembira di hari raya. Banyak moral value yang aku dpt sepanjang bulan puasa ni. Terima kasih untuk mereka yang tk henti-henti mengajar aku pasal kehidupan. Yeap maybe aku miskin harta but in life..insyaallah sesusah mana pn keadaan i can face it with a smile.I wont cry. Pada kawan-kawan yang datang beraya kat rumah..thanks kasih banyk-banyak sbb sudi datang. Maaf kalau ada terkurang sana-sini. Happy Raya everyone!

Happy Eid Mubarak

To all bloggers.

Beautiful followers and non- followers.

Happy Eid Mubarak sayang sayang. Im sorry if i made mistakes love, didn't mean to :') 

and to

 all my beloved ppl

 thankyou for always be there for me when im down. I love you beautiful .#kiss hugs :* ♥

Alhamdulillah

Nikon 3100D

This gonna be my second baby .The first one is my Holga.

p/s: But sedih jugak sebab impian nak beli Samsung Galaxy s2 terpaksa dilupakan. Kumpul duit lain pulak la kalau nak. Murahkan rezeki keje freelance aku Ya Allah .Amin.


At first aku upload canon 1100D then tukar Nikon 3100D sbb bila pikir balik better ambik Nikon. Sebab aku mmg selesa guna Nikon sebelum ni.

I know god love me

See i'm back! wee. Thank you so much for all those kind people.

"Kalau awak baik awak akan dikelilingi orang yang baik you dont have to worry..god with you."- Thank you for this ,sweet friends.

"You have gone this far.Allah cuma bagi ujian pada hambanya yang kuat.So kenapa nak takut?Awak dh sampai tahap ni.Move on.God has a great plan for your life.Trust me" - Awak yang buat saya bangun.:)

" No matter what gonna happen to you in the future. I will be rite there for you and love you for who you are.Always and forever.You know you have me" - My beloved future husband!

"Tawakal fyka,ada magic dalam tawakal.Ang tgk je la" - Seyn

....... ...    and many many more magical word from my beloved ppl.I love you so much guys.

Trilion terima kasih kepada semua yang susah payah bantu fyka . Baik dari my own relatives and bestfriends. This raya gonna be awesome. Allah is the greatest!

Aha and what more great about next month is this two thingsss!

Suicide Silence & Gegey Tour wait for me! 23 sept, 8 oct /15 oct .hehe..

Sayonara

I'm not going away because bf suruh close acc fb, gadoh dgn bf or lari dr ex ex bf. Aku perlukan masa dan keadaan untuk bertenang dan pulihkan keadaan.Semuanya nampak chaos sekarang. Kecuali relationship aku dgn bf dan kawan-kawan dan jugak prestasi pelajaran aku. Semua masih stabil. Untuk zon-zon chaos itu - aku perlukan ketenangan. Aku perlukan tuhan. Facebook tkkan dpt tolong aku begitu jugak kawan-kawan yang masing-masing ada komitmen dalam litar hidup sendiri. Aku tk tau apa erti raya untuk aku tahun ni. Hari ni genanp 5 bulan.Yes semua org ckp aku survivor aku kuat sebab aku boleh bertahan. Boleh lagi gelak-gelak. I Fake a smile guys.

The girl who seemed unbreakable--broke

The girl who seemed so strong--crumbled

The girl who always laughed it off--cried  - This is me guys.This is me!

My family have been betrayed by our own aunty. Shit kan? chaos gila. Keadaan dia mmg sgt fuck-up. Dengan pencuri pulak time-time ni la nak mencuri. Ayah dah tk mcm dulu. Adk dan ibu masih sakit. Sakit.Berat gila rasanya. Aku sendiri tak pernah terpikir akan diuji macam ni sekali. But sekarang aku redha. Mungkin ada hikmah semua ni jadi. Maybe tuhan nak jadikan aku more better thn before. Kawan aku pernah cakap bila Allah uji kita Allah bg kita sakit Allah sayangkan kita dan bila setiap kali tu kita menyesal dgn dosa-dosa kita yang dulu and berdoa, Allah akan ampunkan dosa-dosa kita.Insyaallah - dan aku bukanlah muslimah sejati.Banyak cacatnya...

So goodbye guys.Goodbye beloved ppl.Pls pray for me.I'll be back as soon as possible.Banyak benda yang harus diperbetulkan terlebih dahulu.

p/s: Pada mereka-mereka yang dah bg kerja design kat aku tapi tk bayar-bayar lagi.Pls.Jangan ambik kesempatan.Kau pikir boleh maju ke hidup dengan menipu and makan duit orang? Bulan puasa ni.Agak-agak la..

The best mirror in the world is an old friend.

Holga 135

Us. My junkie. My hearbeat.

Dear future husband

# i use Luke Mitchell picture because his body just look like him - A. :D

I love to write this letter in black because its reminds me of sadness and many tearful days i have experienced this past months..this past years.But since i met you this black color reminds me of your cloth.The first cloth you wear - on our firts date.

Darling, I wonder if you ever look over at me and just pause and think, wow she's pretty.Handsome guy,i want you to know that i don't have the perfect body,face or mind, but i hope you will be able to look beyond that.

Heartbeat, i wonder if you’ve ever thought you’d met the one,but then you had your heart broken.If so,i wish this letter could somehow finds its way into your hands now. Because I, your future wife, do in fact exist-have struggled with those same questions you’re struggling with now.

Beloved, know that for all your wanting, all your brokenness and fears,Allah is working through all things to turn you to become the man He wants you to be.I hope the suffering you feel now  help you learn to worship the Deliverer and not the hope of deliverance. I hope you know that you are not alone in this time – even as you are waiting for me, I am waiting for you. I'll give you me. I would say I do to be with you for better or for worse, in sickness and in health, till death do we part.

I cannot wait to feel the beautiful,romantic and joyful story that Allah has in store for us.You’re my bestfriend, my husband, my better half.

but..

Dear future husband..i hope you exist.Because right now, I'm not confident enough in myself to believe you do.But if you do exist please reply this letter and give me the best reason for me to love you.

I wish you’ll be the one i’m going to marry.Yes you.

grace and peace to you,

your future wife