ketawala please

gua seronok tlg kwn2 gua td bhai.Gua rasa cm gua blajar pendidikan seni balik.Even keje gua xla sebesar mana tp dpt tlg sikit-sikit pun gua rasa happy gila.Gua sj nk busykan diri gua bg otak gua xigt lu bg mata gua boleh kering dr asyik bsh je.Gua xlarat dh.Bak kata lu gua kufur nikmat kn?
gila bhai lu betul-betul hentam kasi gua mati terus.Sedap bahasa lu bhai.Gua suka.Gua suka sampai gua gelak telan air mata babe.

Tgn gua getar xhilang.Sumpah gua takut..gua takut dgn semua perkataan.Gua takut dgn mulut gua gua tkut ngn diri gua.Gua rasa baik gua kunci mulut gua rpt2.

Hujan lebat.Gua ambik keputusan nk tlg kwn-kwn gua hias booth dorang.Gua xmtk apa-apa gua just nk lupakan..lupakan fyka!Gua buat semua dgn harapan gua boleh tumpang happy kwn2 gua.Seronok tgk dorang kelam kabut untuk pameran esok.Good luck kwn2..;)

and to my dear buddy fy..congrat ur happy now.Im so glad tgk pic u with tht new guy.And im so glad u gtw i u dh fully sembuh. 5years baru sembuh fy..ohmygod i jd takut u tw x bila terkenang saat 5 thn u tu and nsb baik skank u bahgia.U deserve it.Rumah dia dkt dgn u pulak ye?wah kepit jela ni nanti.Happy always syg..i tumpang happy for u..;)

Kalau gua penyebab air mata lu turun hari-hari gua mintak lu buangla gua dr hidup lu.Buat apa lu simpan org yg bikin hati lu nanah hari-hari semput hari-hari.Gua dtg gua xpernah ada niat nk cari gadoh nk buat lu lu terasa hati mkn hati ngn gua..tp kalau gua ni cukup bebal sampai bikin hati lu bernanah bengkak seinci hari-hari..gua rasa baik gua pergi..kn.Jgn tegking gua mtk lu bunuh gua terus je td.Hati gua dh stop pn td.

Missing

Gua hilang something bhai..
Gua rasa hilang sejak semalam.Gua tahan air mata gua bg setitik pun tak jatuh.
Gua pretend gua kuat.Gua pretend otak gua sgt fokus dengan assignment web tu gua paksa diri gua pikir pasal mini projek java gua tekan otak gua kuat-kuat kasi ranap malam semalam jugak.
Gua tidor gua xmimpi apa-apa dh mlm smlm.Gua xmmpi pasal lu atau lu atau lu dh.
Gua bgn gua xsenyum lg mcm smlm.Gua sakit kepala.Bedenyut-denyut..semangat gua hilang.
Hati gua betul-betul kosong..hilang mcm mana lu tlh hilang.
Gua nk ngs tp gua tahan.Lu selalu ckp "ngs..jgn simpan nanti lg sakit".Gua nk sakit bhai.Gua pilih bia gua sakit.Sbb kalau dgn gua sakit ni gua boleh biar lu orang bahagia gua sanggup pretend gua happy gua hold on sakit gua..

Gua kn kuat.Itu lu cakap..

lu tgk gua happy kn main buih-buih lg..

;)

This morning there's is two little sweet thing tht making me so happy..;)
One is just a kind of drawing..i dunno who own tht little sweet picture but i like it so much..

isnt tht sweet..?

The second thing tht making me smile today is a very cute song from sheera blog.
http://tekankeyboard.blogspot.com/

Aww...first time dnga trus sing along kot..;) And ini adalahh owner for tht blog actually she is ed punya adk angkt ..but now dh ter"use" cm i pnye skli plak.haha

comel kn kn..

Haih.semua comel hari ini..;)

$$$$

I want my money back! Oh kepada si kaki hutang tlgla bayar.penat ak buat kerja mana payment saya meyh?Smlm pegang kalkulator tolak tambah bahagi darab apa semua..eh byk jugak duit ak sebenarnya ea.Takpa..sabar.Dh dpt nti heh..bestnye!! Poly dh nk dkt ke final..selain busy dgn tugasan and stdy for final exam otak ni pn busy gk dgn bnda2 lain such as..Shopping!!


My wish list:



Green Fallen shoes for my green shirts! Yeah musim
ni nk bnyk2 pakai hijau.Green is not my fav color tp nth..tetibe rasa nk kehijauan lak.hik
Oh acu buy it for me please..hee



Vans summers collection.awww <3>

Selain shopping i also wanna do sumthng different with my HAIR!
Kwn2 rpt ak pn bnyk yg dh asyik ckp "Ko ni dr kecik ak knl kau smpai ke besar ubh sikit je then ko blik rmbut asal ko yg cm lady gaga ni.Bkn xok cute je tp ko dh 21..grow up la skit.."
Acu said :"Bdk2 je pakai rmbut serabai cm ko ni" grr...ok!I'll do it.I'll do it bkn sbb korang komen2 ni but i'll do it for saje2..4 a new spirit.hehe.

so ada berapa suggestion dr kwn2 terdekat and acu ak..tp ak xtw nk plh rmbut mana satu..;(
Yg ak tw ak nk dye blik.Thts all.haha

ni naddy yg suggest.Xcm wild sgt ke rmbut ni?hoho..




My little brotha suggestkn 2 rambut ni.More simple and nmpk cm cool je rmbut yg bwh tu.;)


peningnya.Nk ptg rmabut pn susah.grrr...


Mana satu eyh??

got it?

A txt frm her:

Idiot..to love someone deeply gives you strength but being loved by someone deeply gives you courage.You know wht..ur a lucky girl.So please stop feeling so bad.

Understand this quote i cilok dr page sis i.

"Love is broad if you love someone, you love all things, not just their beauty. Love is narrow you love one and only one, compared to them, no one matters."
So open ur eyes buddy.Try to trust him try to trust others.Try to be in love again.Its not soooo..loser if at last u will be hurt again.Its a normal thng tht making u more more stronger.

hey naddy thnx for tht sweet advice.ilysm bitch!

P.I.C.T.U.R.E

Sometimes guys call me a very Bestgirlfriend to be with and sometimes
they said tht i'm sweet.




And sometimes i can be so wild .I love the joy and sensation until i'll be in the wrong path .. so i always make a very stupid mistake and i make so many people hate me because of tht.Ya i know i am a bad girl. I'm sorry guys ths is my life.. i know i am wrong but now i'm trying to fix it back.So please be patient..hold on to it.Stop pushing me around.Stop scolding me.I'm not ur children!At least i'm not a hypocrite like you.Such a VERY GOOD GIRL



I got a tons of freinds out there but like usual ppl always comes and goes.I know its hard to make everybody stay.



But i dont care cz i still hve the AWESOME one with me..;)




During holiday or on my free time i will do my * photography activities



* shouting and do crazy things at home



* Learn how to skate with abg jo and my cousins




And also *having fun at the gig..Rawwr dude.

All in my life i've been lookin for a miracle in love.Is tht any?

Isn't tht sweet?But is there any guys like this out there?Who willing to wait for a 100years for the one they love the most?To be there trhu ups and down?

And they will hug you and be there for you 24/7?So tht i can tell him he's the man i gonna die with..

speechless

Dalam dunia ni mana ada benda yg kekal,

kalau hilang,hilang la.. macam mana pun kita sayang,

takkan dtg balik..

Pandai2 la nak move on..

kita yg selalu tunggu masa,tp masa tak pernah tunggu kita..

dalam kita menunggu,kita tak sedar yg masa actually

da pun berlalu..n tanpa kita sedar, masa da pun berubah.

Apa yg di tangan,di fikiran,di hati kita.

Barang yang hilang datang gantinya,

mata yg tertutup akan terbuka,

luka yg berdarah tinggal parut semata..

Bila tiba masanya..

yang berakhir akan kembali bermula.

hey thnk you.i lost my word.*wiping tears*

Hey stranger

ohmygosh.Bukak-bukak blog and blog and blog now i noe rupanya ak ada a very great stalker!well..well done! ;)

U such a great one sbb smpai bnda yg teramat secret pn ko follow rite?wow.how do u get it ya? sgt cool!Dhla lu tu sape pn gua taktau.STANGER ABES. So agk tekejut.Lu kenal gua ke beb smpai lu perlu stalk gua then kecoh smbng sal gua sana-sini.Buat topik sal gua.Asal?Lu ni secret admire gua ke?Lau xckup knl lu jgn nk kencing bnyk2 boleh? Cukup gua pantang my secret thngs ada org stalk.Tlg jgn terlbh menyibuk boleh x cik kak?Xmalu ke stalk org?Sibuk nk tw ksh peribadi org bercerita sana sini and the best part is u trying to copycat oso.Oumygucci..kinda desprado.

Eh hello ms.stranger.. org-org mcm lu sumpah buat gua penat. Gua ada buat slh ngn lu ke wahai pretty stranger?Gua dh jenuh pikir gua xknl lu celah mana lak gua nk buat slh ngn lu?Gua ni pernah rmpas bf lu ke?bpk lu?atok lu?ke nenek moyang lu dulu2?Gua tw lu baca ni konpem lu berapi.Mmg tu gua nk gua nk tgk pe action bodoh lu lps ni.

Fiuh..

Ok setelah beberapa bulan minggu dan hari menyengkang mata dgn final projek akhirnya selesai jugak.Amin presentation td berjalan lancar.Tenang otak ak sikit lepas ni.Ini adala sikit paparan dr laman web yang ak bgnkn tu.Xcntik mana pun.Nanti ak dh masuk server ak bg link kasi korang main ok;)

cant wait to go home

ah..Ibu i miss your hug.Nazrin i miss your kisses your hug.Nur kakak nk cium2 nur balik nanti.I really2 miss to see ur cute adorable face.
Adk i miss to spend my time with you.
Ko balik nanti kita pegi park sama-sama.;)
gua tlg lu ngoratkn amoi conteng dinding tu k?;p
Ayah thnx 4 ur advice.

Kwn-kwn thnx sbb sllu sokong fyka.
Acu thnx sbb sllu ada bila ika susah.Thnx 4 tht emerency money.

Final projek?cptla berakhir..boleh ak topup balik tido ak yg xcukup2 tu.

Tamat final projek lepasla 1/4 azab kt poly ni ha.Adoi mak aih..

pretender

Ya i am a pretender.Say wateva u want.I am.
Pretend as seorang perempuan yg boleh survive dlm semua keadaan ni.
My heart is empty.My body are cold.My head feel so heavy today.
My nose bleeding again ths morning.
Damn npe xmati je?
Today nk kena struggle untuk final projek.Esok kena hantar.Nk kena jd stone abes ke mlm ni?huh.I dunno how to do it..so i go here and there to search for someone to be my hero/heroin to help.But i didnt found anyone yet.Everybody is to busy.Even the tutorial didnt help me at all.
I noe nthng.I'm just a bullshit.I cant think bout almost anythng today.My words are cold.
And i felt like i'm all alone now.
Alone..i own nobody.

*wiping tears*

Thnx buddy

ok.first smlm mmg hari plg sdh ak.Sdh di kelas projek and sedih sampaila ke rumah..
balik dr kelas projek smlm ak terus mandi mkn panadol 2 biji terus tidor sampaila pukul 7lebih dgn slumbernya ak ambik botol c2 ak terus turun bwh pegi bilik ila dan syera.Lepak luahkan and cerita everythng.Bnyk yg dorang nasihatkan ak..thnx korang.Syera thnx jd listener yg setia gk.Thnx 4 the advice.Fyka akn jd lbh kuat.Fyka janji.Lepak-lepak then nad dgn tita dtg..buat kerja sekejap lepastu ak turun bwh tgk cerita haunted mansion dgn nad and ila.

Tgh-tgh lepak tgk tv tu gelak-gelak cuba ubat sakit diri sendiri ni..my Sayam txt."Syg baca blog i".
So i read it and sgt2 terharu.Thnx syg i love you.Thnx 4 ur advice.Gua syg lu ketat-ketat la weh.

click for bigger image

Then after a few second lepas tu adk call.He read my blog..he ask me wht had happen.I told him everythng..and plg suprise adk nk trun ths week.Sptutnya dia xbleh blik mnggu ni but dia nk blik just for me.He want to make her sister happy.Adk thnk you.Ilysm.
Lepak kt bilik ila balik kejap tgk tita buat kerja dia.And thnx to tita too.Sbb dia pn bnyk bg advice and listen to all my problems slme ni.U r my best secret keeper.So tlg simpan baik2 ye adk.;)

Sambung buat kerja balik then turun bwh Jb ajak sembang..Jb thnx jugak bg ak happy ngn lawak2 bodoh kau..lepak punya lepak tau2 jam dh pukul 4 pg.Xsedar lansung.Disebabkan dh pukul 4pagi perut pn jd lapar.Ak bwkla keluar biskut ak tp tlh dipau oleh org2 lain jugak buat ak lapar blik.So Jb bg cadangkn nk g bli mkanan.Apa lg trus semua order roti canai.haha.Plg xleh blah sampai dua round tu pegi beli makanan.Punyala lapar.Mamak tu mesti pikir gila pelahap budak ni.(JB la jd mngsa sbb dia yg pegi beli.hahaha) Meriah gila.Dh mcm bersahur dh.Org lalu dpn rumah mesti semua igt now ni bulan puasa kn?hahaha

ila , me, tita,syera and anas..;)


ila,me,adk tot,syera and her Bf Jb

hehe.Mcm bersahur dh kn?

Lepas mkn semua masuk tidur.
Thnx guys for last night.Thnx 4 making me happy.Thnx 4 making me feel tht i'm not alone last nite.Thnx 4 the spirit.Thnx igtkn fyka pasal dr fyka.Fyka asyik fikir dia je slme ni.Fyka lupa tntng dir sndri.

Before pejamkan mata AC txt me dr indonesia.
"Syg sooner or later dia akn sedar apa dia sdng buat ni.Dont let ths mess ruin up ur life.Be strong honey.Ika dh jnji nk buat yg terbaik untuk ths semesterkn?So prove it to me kalau nk hadiah frm me.Jgn nk jd bodoh sbb lelaki ok.Trust me ika xrugi apa-apa.Dia yg rugi dia yg bodoh kalau buat ika mcmni.Kalau dia tggl ika xnk ika.Bnyk lg ada untuk ika..i'm always here for you my dear.One day dia akn menyesal..so dont cry ok."

And lepas baca txt tu ak menangis skli lg before tidur.Thnx AC.ILY

Listen

YOU DONT LOVE ME YOU LOVE THE PERSON YOU THINK I AM.

- I'm not ur baby or ur fav lovely girl anymore.I'm your pain your curse.
Hell yeah i'm sorry.Its hurt me more dude.goodnite.-

god i miss him so much

Do you still remember when we were little?
We were playing in the park,
And you asked me what will happens if you die?Will i cry for you?Can i smile without you?
I said i will forget everythng..i will not cry for you. Of course ths smile will never fade idiot.
Then i saw you cry...like a baby u come closer..u hold me.
Then i ask you back "wht if i die first?Would you cry?"haha. I laugh i thought this was a joke.

I still remeber your last word "I dont care if ur not mine.I'll follow you no matter how far you gonna leave me.Fyka you are for me not him.I know tht well.".You cry, you look so sincere..but i didnt care at all i pick his call then i leave you.I dont even wipe your tears or said sty here i will come back.I left you alone..I'm sorry.


But now..you are the one who leave me..forever
And now..i cry for you..i cant even breath so well like before.Could you please come back to me buddy.This time if you ask me again..i wont laugh..i just wanna hold and hug you and cry out loud.I let you touch my heart too.Its hard to live without you..I miss you..

Darling

This summer is coming to a close
and i'm starting to figure out that i cannot live without you
i hope you're thinking of me, cuz all the stars above me sing your name
i'll never be the same again

so please don't forget to call me
just to let me know you're doing okay
miles away from me

this summer was the best i've ever had
i never want to see it end, so let's pretend
that we're never going back home again
just say those three words i know you're thinkin
i'm sick of wasting time on these formalities
please never leave my side

so please tell me darling
why you're so far away
when i need you beside me tonight

*wiping my tears *

wake up

when people get hurt they learn to hate
when hate separate self
they not themselves anymore
and you should have known
IT'S TRUE
(ArifKartono)

* p/s: This note is to my ownself 2. Remember bout this guys..If u get hurts then dont hurt the others back.They are innocent.Stop blaming others for the reason u get hurt.
Forgiveness is the best way for making you happy..;)

=.=

Myra ask me :
I love you more, u ape cerita ni? Prob semua dah ok ke babe?

i said : xsettle lg.lau bleh i rasa cm nk bnuh seseorng*************************************
************************(And the more fucking shit words goes)
btw thnx myra for ur concern.

Ak boleh buat dia menangis gila babi sekarang..bkn susah.Dia bkn bijak mana pun.Bila-bila masa boleh tendang.Bodoh je..
Ak boleh buat dia xdpt apa-apa pun.Kau hebat sgt?haha.Zero kot otak ko tu...haram belagak idung tnggi je lebih.

Tp hati ak still hati manusia yg still knl dan tw erti kemanusiaan..erti berhati perut. So even secibai or sebabi and seAnnoying mana kau act dpn ak..ak just buat xtw.Manusia bodoh mmg mcmtu.Lepastu ada hati nk menjerit-jerit kata org lain yg bodoh.Kau mmgla sgt-sgt bodoh+pelancau.

Pegi mampus dgn kau la.Ak tw esok esok or esok..ak gelakkan kau.Masa tu xpyh nk tnjuk muka ketat dpn ak..ko igt ak kisah?Hipotesisnya esok esok esok dan esok..semakin ketat muka kau semakin suka ak.

bye bye pencibai.

Bangga gua xmngis dh berapa hari ni.Mungkin dh terlalu sebal+kebal dgn org bebal-bebal cm lu.
Lu xpyh nk buat muka usya pelik xpuas hati baca entry gua..gua xmention ni untuk sape-sape kn.Gua xda tlis pn nama cibai lu.So lau lu terasa..lu punya pasal!Sape mkn babi sendiri rasa babila kn.Lu ngn lu ngn lu dan lu boleh masuk kubur dlm otak gua.

lots of lovessss
♥ FYKA ♥

life goes on

God, if I can’t have what I want, let me want what I have
-gofuckyourselfwhore(ShoutTheTruth)-

blogwalking

JLN JLN BLOG..
oh smlm itu yg terjadi..ak baca semua sampaila HABIS.R*******.blogspot.com(ak xigt sgt pn sbnanye link dia.hoho)

oh.xpela.ak ttw apa ak rasa skank ni tp yg pasti ak xsuka apa yang ak rasa sekarang ni.
Nk ngs tp xlps2.Sejak bila air mata ak ni susah sgt nk keluar pun ak tak tau.
Mngkin dh kebal sebal and bebal kot ngn semua yg dh menimpa ak dlm tahun-tahun ni.
Atau maybe skank ak tgh HIPOKRIT dgn diri ak sendiri untuk belagak chill cm ak sikit pn xksh ngn semua ni.Ak ckup happy still boleh ketawa.Tp..ibu..ibu perasan pg td ak lain.Ibu cukup tau bila ak btl2 ikhlas ketawa and bila ak dipaksa untuk KETAWA.Dia nk ckp dgn ak..tp ak larikan diri and ak mintak nk balik rumah sewa awl. Ak xboleh tgk mata ibu renung ak td.Rasa lemah jantung ni..rasa lemah everythng..laju je air mata ak ni nk turun.Tp ak xnk!Ak xnk dia turun.Ak xnk ibu tau ak sakit.Ank ibu ni happy.

Ah biarlah apa nk jd.Lagi ak pikir lg ak sakit..betambah-tambah keje bodoh ak buat nanti
THE BEST WAY TO MAKE YOU HAPPY IS TO KEEP URSELF BUSY.Itu yg ak cuba buat sekarang.Even busy buat kerja budak2 je.Tp at least still ada keje dr ak duduk termenung...ahh!
Sptutnya pg ni cadangnya nk pegi PC fair.Tp cm xdpt pegi je.Kejut xbgn2.huh..

Oh jln2 lg jumpa kwn baik ak time sekolah dulu.Kwn gusti kwn gaduh tp ktoang mmg sgt close. Siap pernah janji nk jumpa thun keberapa nth nk tayang ank and laki masing2.ahaha.Tp ak lupa pulak bila tarikh tu.haha;p sorry fiza.

hah!plg ak xsngka dia dh ada Bf skank.Bkn main sweet lg.Dulu fiza ni la kwn ak plg cool..
plg clear xda nk cte sal jantan.Kalu cite pun kejenya ngutok drop2 je.hahaha.
Tup tup ni dia dh ada bf.Happy duh tgk kwn baik ak sengih angau je skank ni.
Padan pulak tu.Dua-dua mcm cina.heh ;)
Hope ko happy la k kwn.Yeah bebila free trun ipoh cecontactla ak..
ak xda hal punya..Rndu gila babing kt ko!
bwk Bf cute ko skli eh eh.hahahaha ;p

*Act ak jeles sgt2 tgk ko g main snow tu weh.haha
Nk jugak..;(

take it slow

rite now..i am listening to ana rafali ,wani ardy and fynn jamal song.I love them so much.All of their song kinda related to my life..i wish i could play guitar like them to..and the best part is..if only i can say out loud sumthng tht i keep deep inside my heart and share with orthers just like them.
THUMB UP to you guys.


DEAR MR FUTURE


ORG KECIL


The very best lyrics tht i wish sumone will understand it when he read this ;)

NANOMETER

Everyday I decide to wake up, to unseal my eyes
everyday I exit my blanket, depart from my bed

for it’ll draw us closer
for it’ll draw us closer

everyday I decide to learn a day has passed
everyday I mutely wish to experience the ride

of growing closer and closer
of growing closer and closer

I do not want to miss even a nanometer closer to you
like falling in love
tardily
again and again
we share a ceiling
and its entire solar system
-God is kind

I do not want to miss even a nanometer closer to you

Mr. Capitalism is abducting you away from me
this song is plausibly the only way you can be reached

time is generous
and distance is oh so ruthless

-wani ardy-

p/s: yg lain-lain nanti upload ok.
lagu2 kt atas tu sgt2 kena dgn life ak rite now.

goodbye

Now is the time for me to accept the fact tht u already GONE..
Last night, I realized, how broken it is.
I really want to cry out loud.If only i can stop it frm happening..but no..i'm not the god.I can't hold, hug or even touch u forever
No matter how much I LOVE it,
no matter how I want to HOLD on to it..
i can't...
and let me kept this pain on my own.

AL-FATIHAH to you my dear friend. I'm gonna miss you damn much.You is the BEST THING i ever had..Thnx 4 all the memories.I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.

Rest in peace in my memories....

Tinkayu

ok hilang serabut kejap.Masa untuk keje-keje gila. And thnx korang and korang and korang semua.
Thnx jugak buat tita yg dgn mulia hati belanja pizza hut tu ek;)
kenyang sgt2..dhla boleh order apa je.Gila syiok..;p.
Xsaba nk tnggu bday ko yg thn dpn pulak..haha;)
Nanti ak bg hadiah kt ko ea adik.Sorry lmbt sikit bg..

hehe;p



terima kasih ye adik tot oi kerana belanja saya dan mereka pizza hut;)

p/s: ila dan syera bila lg.ehem hem..;p